Little Bird Poetry

Another night, another night, Stolen from the master's table, Bitter cold strikes, But instead of consuming my flesh, Hardens my expression, Why are you doing this again, He hurts me, Same old shit, Again. Again. Again. Tearing fabric, Cries ripping out louder, What am I to do, Besides, Let it go...... I beg you. I'm in the cold again, Feet fleeting icy pavement, Running from a human boogie man, Desperate to snag my bony ankles, And drag me back, To do it again. Shadowed figure, Slipping between metal bars, I follow suit Into kinder hands, That barely know me, Yet shows me blind mercy, Letting me sit in pregnant silence, As he drives, With glistening drops of amber, Peering back at me, Sparks of streetlights, Bouncing off them, Piano key teeth, Wild misshapen curls, Someone I feel perfectly at home with. Dimly lit parking lot, Nowhere to be, He leans over, Says to me, He would drive, All night, To find answers, In the pouring rain, ...

Love is a worthless passion to pursue As it always fails Anyone who says they do Hurts me deeper than description can grasp You're not worth it Waste of time While your smile may make my heart flutter One day it'll make my eyes water Strong hands that once protected Coil around delicate windpipes Pressing in just enough to keep me there Barely Alive Love has never been a friend to me It's an artificial enemy Chemical compounds oozing from Parts of my brain Dripping from my mouth and nose Suggesting suffocation to be a solid option To end my suffering You can't handle me at my worst Even when I'm trying my best Save yourself As I'm not worth your time I'm going to keep sitting here Angry and disconnected Always wondering Why

little lost girl Made of stolen moonlight And smokey cigarette tails Taste for amber fluids to numb her face and mind how little girl are you gonna escape Before you’re out of time

Faded cracked paint Design worn and faded Loved fabric soft Resting on softer skin Black tail Brushing spine Looking up At pale caramel Ground floor view Of something Too new Misplaced kindness Strong hands Needed touch Warmth wriggling it’s way up No one really cares about your Ya know that right At your age you have no friends Trust no one But you can trust me You odd little girl Weird questions Sour mind What is it that you want from me Lights throwing themselves Down a gravel road Dimly lit place Full of unknown Deeper conversations begin to flow Heavy heavy smoke Laughter lighter than air Where you are is toxic Little girl don’t you know What a strange thing you are Rickety wooden steps Old crystal knobs Doors locked tight for good reason Never opening Until the right knock What to do What to do Attitude bigger than you Strange broken boy No hope in your heart Mild light in your eyes As life Will never be anything more

Bitter wind slashes across unchipped house paint Ugly bright lights Strewn across rooftops And porches A time of year for love So disgusting filled With discomfort And bleached smiles Obligatory "I love you"s And too personal questions Coming from people who You barely know Now with out her here The season has lost All previous meaning And I just want it to be 2019

Living in a cage With gilded golden bars Or rusty wire thorns Makes no difference After spreading my wings Into the blue heavens I simply cannot Be folded back in Beak tapped shut Telling me I’m a pretty girl I have talons And beak to rip through flesh And it’s time they learn I’m a wild animal And not a pretty song bird To shut into a box No matter how pretty the cage I’m still trapped

This is really it You’re going to leave You’re going going gone I know we’ve barely talked I know it’s almost over How is it Im supposed to stay sober How am I to be Without You Completely Ive loved you Lost you And now you’re really going I remember the first time We were younger then I was freshly 17 You’d just come home A smirk under the street light Cold air in our lungs Life was so simple Hopping fences Walking through fields Picking wild flower  bouquets Long board wheels Grinding gravel And giggles in hushed tones I’ve never loved Like I have Until I met you And now I don’t know What To Do

You don’t see her The way she looks at you Once a stranger Now a friend You speak to her so kindly Your humor lights her up Cold air reminds her Of the chill in your apartment Your lips pressed against her forehead Fill her with warmth Kindling something in her She thought was dead However You tell her You don’t want a girl This won’t ever be more She thought she could do it Now she isn’t so sure Your messages are more mixed Than her drinks And she wants to get drunk On you It’s becoming clearer each day That she wants you And she just hopes Maybe you’ll want her too

Lay down your head Clothes your eyes Think about things Sigh to yourself Roll up in his sheets Hands on your waist Heavy sighs Words unsaid Not wanting to move Nuzzle into the notch Between his arm and chest Pretty blue eyes Teeth crooked like a politician Short hair neatly groomed With a smile that makes breathing hard Grip strong Head on straight Laughter that rattles through the air Twisting and digging through those near Always at ease and unbearably sweet He’ll never know He’ll never know What a lovely thing he is

Long dead gods Cold puddles of blood Angels with wings of cold steel  Eyes like daggers  Prayers sent to an empty heaven  Hands folded in reverence To an absent father  Broken glass dreams litter the alleyways Wrists slashed  Bound by black trash bags And reeking of words left unsaid We drink ourselves Into puddles Vile liquid  Snaking its way through an empty vessel  Brass knuckles of uncommitted sins Lust blinding eyes of lovers  Unable to look at this The world we’re in  A hot fiery hell already beginning its consumption Of all those who choose to remain All of our lives Meaningless and pained Struggling to drag on  Into lives, we were told to live What can we do Demons running the streets  Hungrily consuming  All in their paths  Closets now filled with more hung bodies than clothes  Sadness emanating off the rotting flesh  Of warm bodies Everyon...

Twisting knotting rope snaking it’s way up thin bleeding ankles Coiling tighter and tighter Hugging bare flesh between woven threads Constructing flood of blooding Holding me there Holding me in place  Forcing me to remain there Glued in place  Trapped in a life I never wanted to live

new people different faces  buzzing lights and neon gods we all bow to worship  for some unknown reason  swirling images darting across tie dye pages flashing warning light we are all controlled by unseen hands blissfully unaware until the fingers wrap around your throat you fade and disappear each life as meaningless as the last we sit and chase something that does not exist a life of real happiness long flowing bliss the better ones are drugs we take and take pregnant conversations that grow and procreate a life worth living it does not exist we tell ourselves  that it’ll all be ok for its easier to lie to yourself  than to deal with our reality

You know, I find it funny Everyone seems pretty normal Everyone seems pretty OK And then you meet people Masks begin to break  The faces begin to rebuild themselves  Everyone is constantly shifting Changing staying somewhat the same but always different Day to day you never know  What face you’re going to be looking at You never know who you’re going to be getting  Even if it’s the same face  Or the same body  Its not the same person  From one day to the next  Nobody means what they say  Nobody says they mean  They all have ulterior motives that are full of greed  Full of selfishness I don’t understand  I cannot understand  What is wrong with people. What is wrong with people? I don’t understand. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to understand.  We’re all miserably broken  All we want to do with others  Is to have them broken as we are

He leans back Looking at me Smile spreading across Liquor drenched lips He laughs and shakes his head "Who are you?" "What?" "Who are you?" "I can't seem to figure it out." Thoughts cannot seem to form Staring at black ceiling Nothing comes to mind White smoke snakes it's way From the corners of his smile He's too gone to hear a response Veins buzzing Filled with amber liquid ... Who are you Little moon child Eyes filled with stars Lungs filled with smoke A heart filled with pain You dance naked beneath a sky Skin cold and pink Calling out to anything that can hear you Who are you Little wild thing I don’t think even you know ...

keep you head up don't you cry don't you know little girl you're wasting your time yes i know each salt drop just as unimportant as the ones that clung to my hair that day you spun me around in the ocean telling me about what'd we do one day and where we would go each i love you clinging like a parasite to me taking my life away little by little day by day i can't take it all back ... i went down to my spot last night just to think about the world realizing how small and empty it was looking over to crumbling fences and dipped gravel ground only to get hit with it that it's not worth it anymore nothing i do will ever be enough for them or for anyone else so i hope you're happy now knowing how i feel as i figured you didn't care and yes i know im right so here i am always writing so my thoughts don't kill me before i do ... if you love something set it free if it never comes back it was never really your...

Neons flash by me Driving 60 through an empty town Thoughts moving even faster Blue eyes Late skies A boy I knew I could trust My clothes feel Ever tighter Constricting the air from my lungs Anxiety over flowing  Into wells of their own emotion Exhaustion sets in Yet my mind doesn't get the memo I really hope that one day I can drive home  Pass your house and not glance over I wonder if that day will ever come  For now I'll sit and write it down The way I feel in runny inky spots Dappling the side of my hand As deep navy stains pale skin And I tear myself to pieces

Standing behind a closed metal door New job New people Familiar feeling and same old ache She asks me What happened What happened? What Happened? I Lost Him I show her the band The word flashing in dim neon She asks me Why Why I had it on Because it's the only thing I have left of him I tell her Did you love him More than anything More than Anything Anything that I ever have I tell her I tried to move on Throwing myself forward Trying to forget But I can't I can't I can't I hate the smell of cigarettes I say With my own smoke slipping from my lips Nicotine filled vapor billowing into the late night air A tear slides quietly I wipe it quickly to keep her from seeing What I have become Broken Alone She sighs Tells me she knows how I feel I just smile and nod Knowing that there's no way she could really know What it was like still being in love With someone who is disgusted by your very presence