Little Bird Poetry

 Hey. My hair's grown longer since I saw you last. I've been growing out my bangs. I remember you saying you liked them long. My mom met a really good guy. She seems happier these days. We don't fight anymore. No, it's been years since I last dealt with him. He's simply a bad dream to me now. Something I flip through my fingers when I'm in deep thought sometimes. I got out. I broke it. That cycle that's haunted me nonstop. I've started healing. I know you'd be so proud of me. At least the untainted version of my memory of you seems like they would be. Although things seem to gave gotten better over time, I am blessed with a blue lens that overshadows my life. I see every moment with the past suffering echoing through the air. Sometimes I struggle with letting things go fully, as I seem to feel like if I ever truly let them go, they are somehow invalidated.  I don't think it's because I never loved you enough. I simply think it boils down to t...

 Feelings slip through my fingers Slicked satin ribbons Remaining tendrils of the mind Coils like writhing snakes The gentle knit unwinding as I pull Never a painless motion Tugging strands of what remains What is left That holds it all together Falling down to me As I stare in disbelief  Seeing the leaving Of all I thought left of me I look up To the self induced destruction Creeping up Rotting the supports Until I am left in the center of it all Surrounded by the cinder of the fires I lit to keep myself alive The bodies amassed while fighting for my life Smoldering melt of the chains I was forced to forge The smoke burning my nose and eyes I claw my own nails into the soft flesh of the throat Tearing it open to seek some relief Of the ash of past regrets resting there Choking on the things I left unsaid Or the things I was afraid to say They've been there so long I have forgotten I hit my own knees with the crushing weight Of my own quietly committed sins Where do I go ...