Little Bird Poetry

 I wish you'd actually done it Ended your own life So maybe then  I could have mourned the one I loved Not the stranger who took their place Each day I spend in a tailspin Reminded of what used to be Hot water stinging my face As I peek through the curtain Hoping to see you brushing your teeth Not just a blank wall It's not healthy  The way I've clung to it Worse than the petals of smoke that bloom Out of my wailing lips Beating my fists into particle board doors Hoping one day you'll answer the call But I doubt it As instead of dying my lover You've chosen to live as  Just another man It's miserable Flipping through my memories Getting drunk night after night On the misery you bottled for me Knowing I'd oblige indulgence Not caring if it put me in the ground instead

 Buildings constructed  on foundations of infidelity and false love slamming doors the wretched scent of drunkenness  seeping through  weakly locked doors  fear being the smell  the clung to the air was where I came from never knowing  from one day to the next if my borrowed keys  would turn the locks who or what I came home to  being a mystery until you once you were the place I could go no matter what weight I bore you were always there  to help lift the suffering you were warm safe you were home now your doorways are a stranger to me your eyes once a window into my soul are shuttered tightly almost as if afraid to catch glimpse of me all I ever wanted to do was right by you I was promised the gate would be unlatched  if the wind ever changed its course yet now there is nothing but the cold sting of rain pouring from crackling skies chilling my bones turning my heart frigid I never wanted to hurt you but I overcorrected while tryi...

 Yelling echoes across the warped floors bouncing off mirrors crooked photos fall from the walls red ink seeping from the paint into the hearts that once shared this home the air holds its breath silence is the killer neither side willing to give to the other pulling desperately  not wanting to let go but each taking another step back "unconditional" now another word that floats by in streams of lost thoughts what was it that made you cold did I never see  the wall carefully being built in our bed blocking your heart from me I beat the glass with bloodied knuckles begging crying hoping you might see that I needed you then more than I ever had "Out of all the people who abandoned you, I never wanted to be one of them" your voice weeps in my mind as you finished twisting the knife that killed me if you cared like you promised and reassured me so many times how can you stand to be the one who walked away

 It's never been something  to take straight shots from broken bottles hanging limply over the countertop crimson pooling over dark wood burning as it runs down tears welling in corners as it finds its way into the pit of the stomach mixing with the parts  one never get the chance to see following intoxication so bittersweet sudden overwhelming only leaving one with scraps of the better memories grasping for the moment things went wrong yet never really knowing this is what love is

 Morning light seeps through antique panes as steam from dark liquid rises upwards for the first time I could see my own smile in the reflection of your glasses behind the lenses kind pools of blue  showing me love I had not known ... That was over a year ago you don't even read my messages they're appearing on your screen I don't exist you tore me up from the roots throwing my heart into water drowning as you walk away assuming my roots will retake in chaos I  once the center of your mind can't even hide in its dark corners anymore ... You go about your life a new woman taking my spot in bed warming you at night watching the morning on the bricks as you share smiles my key still fits the lock but somehow it's not even the same house anymore the man I loved  is no longer home ... You get to be ok and you have her you told me I didn't know what love was but I don't think you loved me at all because if you did you wouldn't be with the woman I could never b...