Little Bird Poetry

Heartbreak. What is it. What force is enough to fully split something so strong. Something that sustains us. Yet is so delicate. READ 1:30am. When it's 1:59am. "Hey, it's me again, please call me back." "Hey I left you a voicemail yesterday, just calling to check in." Posting those photos to your snap chat story. Hoping they'll see it. Knowing they hurt you. It stinging more when they don't. Knowing they could care less. It's looking at old archived posts. Knowing that the public won't ever see them again. Digging through your folders. Flipping through photos. Seeing that smile. That you'll never give them again. Your heart stopping hearing that voice in a video you forgot. Seeing them on your friends insta. Too afraid to like the photo. Too afraid to keep following. What is heart ache in the modern world. Something so seemingly permanent. Putting our lives on display for the world to see. Yet unable to fully rid your...

I reach for it in the dark Running hands running across painted wood Until I feel the sleek bracelet Worn leather Stained from river water And spilled liquor Fingers gently running hands across my lovers name Remembering the day he gave it to me A single tear falling Knowing what I've done His breath like fire And heart full of anger All I have left Is this band I still wear it to work And when I'm alone Remembering a better time One that I can't ever go back to Knowing now that I have lost my chance

That doesn’t quite look right You without me Don’t get whiny Say that I’m wrong We were happy once Once upon a time Until the fire consumed you And you let it burn I hope your happy With the choice you made Knowing this all was a double edged sword Both hurting the other In a needed separation You sit forming people from your head With faces you’ve never seen As I watch Hoping I might be one I wish I could take it all back But it’s hard to go through a door That’s no longer there

I hope you're proud of yourself Leaning against some wall or lamp post Lit cigarette hanging from your mouth I can see the faintly glowing ashes fluttering onto asphalt Cold December air seeping into you Clothes damp from tears or a recent shower I won't ever know Possibly you find a bitter satisfaction with it all Peeling back my skin to reveal bitter insides I wonder if you know You left me a mess You think it's my fault I am not so sure anymore

I’m still in love with you. After it all. After everything. And everyone. And it’s not because it’s 12am and I have yet to sleep in 2 days. It’s because inconveniently, I’m in love with you. And it’s not because I’m sad or lonely. Or that I wish I wasn’t born. It’s because you are who you are. I love you at 3am when I lie awake staring at twinkling fairy lights. The ones that reflected off your eyes when you laughed. Running my hands along the sheets that smell faintly of you. I love you when I wake up at 8am. Digging into my phone. Begging for there to be something. Anything. I love you at 4pm. Siting in my car. Sheeran streaming through the speakers. To a song we knew all the words to. Now a one sided duet. I can’t bring myself to sing. I love you at 6pm. Sitting on my couch. Wanting to give anything for you to be there. I will continue to love you. Everyday. Tomorrow and the next. And the days that go on after. I’m in love with you. And I’m sorry.

You claw at me with cold metal hands Wrapping around my ankles My wrists And digging so deep I feel my bones crack I fight with everythig I have Only to have parts of me ripped off And torn I’m fighting my way out Day by day And you’re clinging closer than ever Desperate Hungry Opening your rusty jaws Filled with rows of broken glass teeth So lovely glittering as you speak But make me scream as they dig into warm flesh I don’t know anymore Which way is up Which is down All I know is I’m still crawling Clawing my way through clay and mud Spitting blood into the cursed ground Hoping that one day I’ll see the light again

hot tears stream down my face leaving blazing trails streaking across my freckled nose like a shooting stars fiery tail overwhelmed with feeling yet completely subdued i only want you to know how grateful i am for you how is it you do what you do with patience in your heart and kindness in your eyes ive never had such love as this been only fed rotting lies you love me at my best take care of me at my worst thank you for doing something i cannot do myself

Cold seeps into me Leaching out feeling Stealing warmth from my socked feet Frigid black slates covering the surface I rest upon My breath appearing as smoke White Slick Twisting and writhing through the November night As if my fire has been put out Thoughts leak from my eyes as the stars steal me away The moon is so bright tonight Fading trails of airplanes And barely there clouds are thrown across the sky Simple silver shavings carelessly tossed into the midnight ink Twinkle back Filling my tears with freckles of heavenly light Cars rumble past On unseen roads Going to unknown destinations I reflect here upon my past And stay up with my thoughts Quiet ever so To be sure my loved ones can get some sleep

Worn hands cup my face As hot tears run down it A ragged sob escapes my throat As your lips brush my forehead "It'll be ok My darlin girl For you are so dearly loved I see the fight in your eyes Let me tell you it'll be alright You've fought so hard And you've begun to win Causing fear in your demons Watch them rear their ugly heads Watch them cower from your light I believe I was put here to help you And we will fight the good fight I love you my sweet baby doll More than you'll ever know So let me wipe the tears from your eyes And hold you" I can't help but be silent Looking at him in awe What love is this That I have found One that soothes the aches Of years of beatings lashed on my back And creatures clawing at my brains In that moment I found a peace And so it was my tears finally ceased

Cold steel throwing itself down my dainty streets Pale as crimson wine flows like water I feel empty As my own thoughts echo through my hollow mind Bouncing in every which way trying to break out Causing claws of my own design to dig deep into my flesh Desperate to rip away the surface Smoke slinking from my nostrils As my insides burn Both from the amber liquid And the numbing air Thinking of how it all fell apart Crumbling like aged pastries so filled with rot That the slightest breeze ripped it Until it cried for mercy There you stood False joys in your eyes Tainted love in your heart With a slice of cold metal Hidden just beneath You wanted me pinned Stabbed straight through So I could never escape you I tore myself away But now I crawl blindly Suffering from the hole in my chest The burn on my neck Bleeding out Not knowing how I'll heal

Boots treading lightly Through remaining streaks of twilight Air crisp And pregnant With the absence of sound Not a call from one fowl Or rustle from a rabbit The forest eerily still Except my feet in the leaves

I can still smell it When I hold it to my nose The last bits of you Cigarette smoke Cheap teen cologne Soap from your shower Tears from the night before I still wonder What may have happened If i'd chosen to stay I brush my fingers Down my neck Feeling the burn you left From the cherry of your lit cigarette You said you'd never leave You said you'd never hurt me However my skin itches and burns Feeling you trace my edges Nails digging deeper Teeth breaking skin Light strokes Before you lit the fire It makes me faint Just thinking Of the remnants of you

I've kissed more lips on bottles Than I ever have on boys The hangover from a night of drinking Is less painful than months of heart ache As the pain from liquor Soon will fade But you Will not I liked the taste of whiskey on your lips Better than my own But now I simply want to sit And be alone In a room full of people Which isn't hard to do Shatter that bottle Not my heart Scoop me out and leave me hollow So my voice echoes from within Maybe then you'll finally hear me

Broken glass Ripped knees Clear inky skies Dappled in specks of sparkle Breathless laughter Emanating from my lungs The smell of  Your cigarettes burrow Into my cheap Goodwill sweater Black coffee  From the gas station Still swirling with steam Driving down dark streets My feet bare Your's in old sneakers Shy touches  Soft kisses We are the urban legends The weirdos to look out for Pale skin Reflecting moon light Flushed faces Full of emotion I throw my hands up In surrender  Waving my dainty hands through it Scattering the memory Breaking the illusion That you ever really loved me Little did I know The smoke is what was killing me Swirling into my throat In an attempt to cut me away from everything My family My people Myself You almost managed to do it And i'm still running from the flames

Bang You got me Shot right through the heart The sound ringing  Through the trees And through my heart From the way your blond hair falls To the sparkle of your blue eyes You got me I won't even try to run You open my doors Take me out You call me 'baby doll'  And 'sweet heart' As if they were my names Your accent twangs Like the strings of an old guitar You treat me like vintage glass Delicate grip But firm You gawk at me in amazement And want to fill your time with me You make my lips curve up And my anxiety down I can be  So relaxed Like you've known me for years The way you laugh at my jokes And sing to me As I'm riding shot gun Make me so Absolutely happy The only thing left Is for you to ask me To be your's

Pieces have been missing For quite some time I've been stuffing The empty spaces Full of empty love And artificial joy A desperate attempt By which to make myself Whole Happy Sane When you were here you ripped me apart Caused my obsession Like a deadly poison The bite was painful Put the venom so sweet Numbing me until fell into a lull Relaxed As you destroyed me Digging myself so deep into you That I became trapped In the middle of you I'm ripping out Tearing my way Through layers Of dirt and clay Fighting to release myself From this prison I built You were not my safe house But my jail Hiding me away So i'd not had a reason to leave But you left the gate open one day And there I saw Who you really were So now here I am Putting myself Back together

There you were 7pm sharp Looking like you’d won the lottery Because you got to touch my hand Eyes filled with such delight And a smile that made My heart Stop... You made my momma grin Impressed my dad You seem to be in his favor He said 10:30 You smiled and said “It’ll be 10:15 sharp sir” I think this’ll go well The drive was short But the words were long... The place was filled with sounds Lights People However the only one that mattered To me Was you Laughtered flow from you As I my happiness bubbled So excited for the night ahead You said I was beautiful When I was like that And you wish I’d do it more We rolled in and caught rides But also got caught in the rain The both of us so amused as we rode Trying not to get sick Rain pouring on to us But not being able to Dampen the mood When we got to the top You kissed me And pulled me from my lows There amongst flashing neon I felt joy You watched me Like I was the only one there You cupped...