Pining

-

 The land of the pines

The one that I left you in

Never gets any easier

Each passing day 

A constant reminder

An ache I can't shake

A hole I'll never fill

I always feel like I wonder at what once was

Or what could've been

It is all in vain

Just as it has always been

I have never been a believer in soulmates

But loss I feel pangs my heart

Pulling

Snapping

Ripping strings

A wretched 

Broken song 

Coming forth from the echoing depths of the hole you left.


What does one do when faced with the haunting reflection of the what if

The maybe

The might've been

The never will be?


What do we do


I run in circles

Over and over again

Unsure

Blind

Reaching out for the one who once gave me sight

In this world of darkness


My body fails me day in and day out

My chest aches with the weight of pain unfelt

Sorrow unheard

Feelings that make demand to be felt

Met by deaf ears

I am hurting enough


I feel my chest swell 

The rest caving in

I find no rest or solace

I feel like it will come down to a battle 

Between

When my heart will stop

Or when I stop missing you

Whichever comes first.



Comments

  1. Look upApril 1, 2024 at 11:12 AM

    The land of the pines was fled long ago.
    A longing for difference.
    A belief to do it my way.
    Disingenuous happiness followed.
    Along with suffering, contempt, and fragmentation.

    Only to dig deep enough to strike rock.
    And to lose my way.
    To Give Up.
    Permanently.

    To be found.
    To be healed.
    To be led.
    To be put on a greater path.
    Not of my own.

    To be reborn,
    Restarted,
    Cleared,
    Forgiven,
    and to leave behind that which drove one to flee.
    To make amens.

    To ultimately return.
    To understand that it had to go down this way.
    Only for me to see and believe.

    ReplyDelete

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