Kūkyo-kan

-

 I try so hard to let it go

All of it

But instead

I simply lose my grip on all of it


I've strayed so far from the life I wanted

That I've lost the path

At some points

I've just

stopped

walking


I'm exhausted

It never really seems like I'm getting any closer

To what 

I want


It's easier to feel numb

Than to risk the feeling of pain

This life has decided to give me the death of a thousand cuts


And this year has gutted me


I stopped trying to frantically pick up every piece

Stopped crawling on my hands and knees

Picking up each minuscule shard

I just let it go


It's easier to be pretty when your stomach is empty anyway.




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