Calendars

-
Months slip by
Falling sand
Through thinly blown glass
Stacking up
Only to fall in on itself
I can still feel the way
His head was in my hands
The way street lights caught his eyes
Scents of cigarette smoke and dirt
Clinging to cotton sheets
Fingers sliding through messy blond
Solid hands with gentle touch
Oh how we do not know
What loss is
Until our chests are ripped open
With hearts ripped out
How could you
Why would you
Leave me all alone
Now to struggle through it all
I've broken through it
Fallen inwards
Into unknown self
Clawing my way
Upwards to more darkness
In an ever looping
Cycle
Of calm
And forgetting
To pain
And an insufferable ache
That now plagues me
Day in and out
Trapping me
Your chains
Rusted
But still tight
Digging into soft flesh
Until it's been paid in blood
I'm
Sorry
But it's too late

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