Amber Liquid

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Sometimes I wish I felt nothing at all
That I felt no desire to surround myself with other lost souls
That the only friend I ever needed was the burning amber liquid
The one that seemingly charred away my nerve endings
And took away my pain
Sending me into a spiral of empty hearts
And meaningless thoughts
I wish I could be utterly consumed in it's unholy fire
Each shot of little red devil signing my life away
Until I become numb to each grain of glistening sand
Seeming to slip through my fingers like a snake
Twisting and winding its way into the river Acheron
My sun and moon have melted into an inky black puddle
Staining my white sheets and threatening to drown me
Before I have the chance to drink myself away
Numbly sitting in a place full of people just like me
Drunkenly dancing their lives away
Pretending all is well
Or not having enough sense to care if it wasn't 
I am alone in a place with people just like me
Pining for so much more of their existence
Yet never seeking to accomplish it
I can never look myself in the mirror
For fear of what may be staring back
How is it now the only way to find me is at the bottom of a flask
I'm sick in my mornings and don't remember my nights
Everyday is another battle to fight
I'm scraping my way up tooth and nail
Only to be defeated and fail
The only thing it seems to stop the sting
Is the amber liquid running though my teeth


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