Want and Need

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Him.
I want him.
I need him.
Or is it just want?
What is want?
Is it the surge of longing when he left me?
Is it the late nights looking over photos of long forgotten adventures?
Is it the urge to curl up in his old sweat shirt breathing in what little of him remains with me?
Is it the act of going by him everyday, seeing him happy, knowing I am not the cause, and that I will likely never be the reason for his laughter?
Is it want, to miss him, to still love him, to feel the hollow of my own chest as I sit up in the middle of the night wondering where I went wrong?
What is need?
Is it the sudden drowning in the sea of depression that his love once kept me buoyed above?
Is it the empty space next to me on my bedroom floor that he once filled while I expressed my private thoughts?
Is it the quiet rides to school in the morning, listening to music, while I sing a one-sided duet?
Is it the empty conversation left to be swept under the rug, the one that I still go back and pretend that the “I love you”s were still true?
Is it need, to have my mind filled with thoughts of him, to be broken without him, to breathe in the sweet numbing smoke as I stare up at fading stars knowing he’s probably doing the same thing?
I feel that it may be impossible to fully separate the concepts of “want” and of “need”,
All I know is that neither will fade,
Until either the day he returns,
Or the day the pain subsides,

Which ever is to come first.

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