Little Bird Poetry

the rumble of an engine restarts my heart its only 11pm but it's only just begun warm air fills my nose as I open the door to run to you throwing myself into a passenger seat that feels like mine a night ride through familiar streets of a town, I called home looking so quiet now with the world being asleep shadows catching the angles of a face I never noticed before a crooked laugh and careful feet old stairs and uneven floor you left the hall light on and the dog out trying hard to stifle a smile as we enter like ghosts unseen but probably heard looking up I see the hole looking back at me from where it sits in the wall and the faint smell of long-forgotten cigarettes and an empty whiskey bottle dashed with dried Georgia clay a foreign place feeling so much like home more so than where I rest at night soft worn sheets and tv on brings me back to when my house was actually a home how do you do that to me

Its the only one open all night little paved lots amidst urban sprawl buzzing street lights laid back seats soft summer playlists marching on through heat seeps into the cracks as time moves on putting fog on the windows concealing the smiles

Rattling gravel against worn red paint Dust flies up behind Sun slightly peaks behind aging pines It brings scents of early morning dew Mixed with pollen and sweet grasses Sleepy people yet to rise Living down this little dirt road I remember being here with you Sitting with the radio soft Laughing over a joke Of which I don't remember the punch line Only the curve of your lips And the way you looked at me I now drive alone Quietly through this sober occasion Smoke slipping between my lips Filling the hole in my chest The one shaped like you Burning into me like a brand It's ok I suppose To feel this bitter ache As painful as it was to leave you It would have hurt me more To stay

To my dearest love, My love for you outnumbers the stars in the sky when we're apart my body misses you aches for you to be near me each day sews us together and I could never tear us apart I love you more than I ever knew I could

About last night Please forgive me I was drinking My mind was fuzzy I type to tell you It's all a blur In hopes, you'll tell me the truth I guess as it seems I called my best friend Right after it happened to me You saw your chance And you took it A piece of me with it too I thought I could trust you I guess not How could you lie to me  And say its all ok Nothing works right  My thinking is mangled My minds a blur How could you If I hadn't called You would've never told me So full of lies Spilling from your crooked teeth Oozing venom Meant to subdue me You're a liar And you hurt me How Could  You I thought we were friends Why can't you get that  I love him You know that He was going to be my husband But you swooped in On a girl Unable to tell you no Because you could Do you feel like a man now Well do you Do you feel big now Thinking you've won At the cost of me losing Are you happy...

Throwing stones Striking glass Breaking through my walls Trying to find my past My memory is hazy And fades more each day I don't know why I'm ending up this way I lay awake at night In fear of what's not there Wondering how many gaps I'll have to jump To get there They come back In bits and pieces I feel robotic Almost weightless I can't grip my mind The way I grip a bottle I can't handle stress The way I handle my liquor Its all too hazy My mind explodes into shards I can't pick up

Slim metal bands Meant to represent A bond Most unbreakable Yet in the end Does it mean anything Other than a precious metal Wrapped around an aging finger A feeble promise That will fade Leading to a heart ache And suffering For which the grief Sinks in And takes the place Of a heart That once loved